Deep Calling Unto Deep

Learning to be honest with self, God and others leads to deeper life
By Johanna Powell


Like a little child enjoying the warmth of the sun and the chill of the ocean, I sat in the barn and basked in the joy of a rare evening out with other women. No one to take care of and plenty of adult conversation—how could you go wrong?

Then Stephen James began to speak. He described parts of his own personal story and invited us to begin exploring our stories. Like that child, I felt the power of the undertow pulling me out of the sand and to uncharted, beautiful, alluring, and yet savage waters. Those waters are a place I know I was made for; however, I had never managed to find them on my own. It is a place where God is in charge and He is uncompromisingly committed to using all the good and the bad to call us to relationship with Him, to conform us to His image, and to invite us to speak into other’s lives.

What followed was a counseling session with Stephen. God used him to point me to the “Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Planned” women’s story group and then the “Exploring Your Story for Couples” group, as well as some individual appointments with Jennifer Osborn.

God has used all of them to bring me out of the shallow waters of mere existence to a place where I know myself, God, and others, deeper than I ever have thought possible. Life down here hurts and we are all wounded and in pain from disappointments and losses.

It is not our job to cover over the pain or to even fix it; but, to present it to God and allow Him to do His work through it. I have learned that God wants us to tell the truth to ourselves, to God, and then to others.

I have experienced God to be most loving and gentle, and yet the most savagely committed to setting free not only my spirit, but my heart as well. He has called me to trust Him in the circumstances that only He can fix, to speak the truth that He has put in my heart, and to rejoice in the abundant life He has given me.

By His grace, I am sometimes swimming—sometimes sinking in these wild waters. I am finding God to be everything I need and others to be an essential part of what He is up to. The deep waters He is leading me through are completely alive, especially compared to where I was when I didn’t know how, or was too afraid, to feel what was going on inside of and to me. One thing I’m certain of is that I never want to go back to the safety of the sand.